Add Us On:

[Q&A] Boyfriend’s checking my messages!


Photo: (Getty Images)

Need an answer to a burning digital question? Every other week, we choose a question that’s on your minds and get a response from our team of experts on digital ethics. This week’s response comes from the Boss of Me Campaign.


I have been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months now and at the beginning of our relationship everything was great, but then he started getting demanding and telling me not to talk to my friends. He also told me to stop going to parties and he deleted all the phone numbers from my phone. Every time I see him he checks all my messages and also my calls to see if I’m talking to my friends. I don't know what to do anymore. He puts so much stress in my life. What should I do?


We’re sorry to hear about what you are experiencing. Based on your email, your boyfriend's behavior sounds unhealthy. Abuse is not just physical; it can be sexual, verbal/emotional and even digital.
There are a lot of red flags in your email. Your boyfriend's behavior is isolating, controlling and likely stemming from a place of jealousy. It is important that he respect your privacy.

Be sure to communicate your feelings to him. You should express that these things are upsetting you. If your boyfriend truly cares about you, he will stop. If he is unwilling to change, you might want to consider leaving the relationship.

It’s also a good idea to talk to someone about what's going in your relationship. If there is someone in particular that you trust, like a friend or family member, consider telling them what's been happening so that they can help and give you support. Let them know how they can help you get through this. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.

Have a question about how to delete digital drama from your life? You can submit questions to be answered by trained experts by sending an email to