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QUESTION

I see your commercial all the time about checking your bf/gf phone. My boyfriend checks my phone and MySpace ALL the time. I asked him not to look at it and told him if he trusted me he would know that I've NEVER cheated on him nor am I going to. He tells me that I'm getting mad because I'm trying to hide something and that I'm guilty of something, otherwise I wouldn't be so defensive. Then we get into a HUGE fight. What should I do?

ANSWER

Healthy relationships are based on mutual honesty, trust, respect and open communication. If your partner goes through your things, especially without your knowledge or consent, that is a big red flag that the relationship is likely unhealthy. You must determine for yourself what you are comfortable with and what level of privacy you want in your relationships. And it's important to communicate your decision to your partner.

Your boyfriend's actions can be a warning sign that your relationship is headed in the wrong direction so you should address it right away before things become worse.

While there is no excuse for invading someone's privacy, it's possible that your boyfriend may not realize just how harmful his actions are. You should talk to your boyfriend about how his behavior and mistrust are hurting you and your relationship. But keep in mind that if something about him, or the situation, makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe bringing it up, that alone could indicate there is a more serious problem.

Trust your instincts. It's up to you to decide whether or not this relationship is the best thing for you. However, if your wishes are not respected, this relationship is not the healthy one you deserve.

This information is provided by Break the Cycle.

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